My son, who is sixteen years old, is in a state of confusion. He told me that in those same words. He told me that he doesn't know where he's supposed to be and what he should be doing with his life. He wonders why others have their lives all mapped out and he's the opposite.
Turning sixteen recently, has seemed to mark the experience more vividly for him. He's someone whom I observe to be either far left or right but nothing in the middle. I know that that's a weird explanation but let me clarify. When he feels things they seem extreme or not at all. When he's upset it's usually with so much fire that he has to take a walk to cool off. There's no balance it seems. It's one way or the other. He does things with such passion or none at all. He's bored or he's out riding and doing jumps for hours at the skate park. He can sit at his computer and play his games all day long without going to bed.
He has so many cuts and bruises from doing stunts on his bike. He's broken his jaw and a few knuckles, although not from biking and it didn't even faze him. He had to spend five days in the hospital to rewire his jaws and he ate out a straw, literally for a week or two because his mouth was wired shut. He's knocked himself out biking because he wouldn't wear a helmet and still doesn't. He's the biggest adrenaline junkie that I know of.
Do other parents have this experience with their teenager? Is it just boys that act this way? Is it their personality? I understand what the teen years bring about. I do remember feeling lots of angst about where I was going and what to do with my life also. My emotions changed from moment to moment. I was in a state of upheaval constantly. I think I asked myself the big question of " Why Am I Here?". I don't remember if I got the answer then either.
As "the parent", we fight about his doing chores, getting home on time, his sloppiness and other endless stuff. Recently, we sat down, after he had taken a walk because "he needed to calm down", he says. I tend to believe there was more there. We sat down and he was actually talking about his feeling very confused at this point in his life. He tried to explain his passion for biking. I got a little peek into his thoughts.
I guess my job is just to keep doing what I do. That is to listen, aid if and when I can and to give back all of the love that is in my heart to give. He will eventually decide who, what, where, when and why, when the time is right for him.