Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Does age determine maturity? Should it? Some types are emotional, intellectual, developmental, spiritual, psychological and probably more too. I consider myself mature in most of these areas. Mature to me; meaning logical behaviour, aware of what is happening and capable of changing through experience.

The reason I'm talking about this is that sometimes, now, I feel so stuck in my life. I pray and meditate because I believe in a Higher Power. I know that there is one. I've seen the results manifest in many ways over and over again. Just look at the sky. Take a look at people.

I'm growing physically; I can see the grey hairs and the lines on my face. Let me tell you, there are many. Yet it seems as if nothing is moving. As if my life is at a standstill. Logically, I know this isn't the case.

I try in my "bullish" way to move it by using my will. Typical Taurus behaviour, I know. You'd think that I would have learned by now(maturity eh). "Life does not move by ones will alone".

There's a flow there. I have to get into the flow. How do I do it? What do I need to do? I keep asking myself these questions because I am feeling so frustrated with my life. At this age I should have some answers.

I especially need a job to pay the bills. I send out resume after resume yet still not a call has come my way. I need a boost again. Bill collectors are buzzing like buzzards on dead meat. Gross, I know. That's how it feels at the moment.

Still, I know that I have it pretty good. I do thank my Higher Power and family that support me while I'm living this experience. I know that it's only temporary even if doesn't feel like it. Tomorrow is another day.

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